Top Dog notes

Top Dog: Science of Winning and Losing, P. Bronson and A. Merryman

My cliffnotes on the book.

• Taking the SAT: kids taking in small venues score HIGHER.
• "N-Effect" -- the larger the N (number of participants) -- the worse the outcome for individuals. 
• Being watched: If they were learning the skill, the presence of spectators hampered performance. If they had mastered the skill, spectators improved performance.
• Stress helped the men, hurt the women.
• Women compete less: they only compete when they know they have a decent chance to win. They are better at calculating odds; men are more overconfident of their skills, take more risks. 
• Hothouse, ultra-competitive environment -- girls tend to thrive, not so for boys. If you have a girl, put her in the best school possible and with smartest peers. If you have a son, you should put them in a school with the brightest teachers, but be wary of a hypercompetetive environment. 
• Infinite games -- women survive better than men. 
• Boys socialize in groups; girls in pairs (dyad). Lesson of the dyad is that competition destroys relationships. 
• Gain-oriented vs. prevention-oriented. Playing to win vs. playing not to lose.
• In many situations, changing the framing of a task from threat to challenge is all it may take for success.
• Case against being overly positive: a bit of fantasy (positive thinking) at the onset can be productive, but must think about the obstacles will help actually achieve the goals.
• Not just practice, but at the highest levels -- requires taking control of body's physiology. From threat condition to challenge condition. Challenge situation -- body provides right about of adrenaline. 
• Despair is the other option; anger is a negative emotion that's a positive force -- motivating people to go farther. 
• Need testosterone spike to compete. But women, according to the "tend-and-befriend" theory, when women experience a stressful situation, they seek out others' companionship to alleviate the tension. So they don't get the testosterone spike. 
• Cortisol -- does not cause stress. It's the body's remedy for stress. Helps manage stress, return body back to normal. Diffuses competitive desire. 
• Oxytocin -- marking people as your in-group or out-group. Friend or foe. 
• Teamwork -- only strategies that consistently deliver results are those that focus on role clarification: who's going to do what when the pressure gets intense. Role definition by leadership before even team formed. 
• Competition breeds creative mindset. Need to nurture kids to be innovators. More than just creativity -- to have not just original ideas, but also the courage to risk rejection and put their ideas out into the world. 
• Character trait -- agency. We cultivate agency in children by allowing them freedom to make choices, and by encouraging them to trust the decisions they make. We must let them have opinions, feel their needs, and act to satisfy those needs. This also means allowing them the chance to make mistakes. 
• Highly creative adults -- they had childhoods where they learned to trust their own judgment without anyone's input. They learned to be comfortable with conflict, contradiction, and opposition. 
• That's what kids need to have: clarity and strength of vision built over time -- a brilliance that can withstand enormous pressure. 
• Need to frame competitions as a challenge, not a threat. Winning and losing are just short-term consequences to the long-term goal: improvement.