Man's Search for Meaning notes / Depression

Guy at work is depressed so I thought I'd help him by reading Man's Search for Meaning by Vitor Frankl. Now I'm depressed. Who's going to cheer me up? What's my purpose? Where's the meaning in my life? If I die today, what will be my legacy?

I'm going to stick to lighter reading from now on.

Frankl survived three years at a Nazi concentration camp and based on his experiences founded Logotherapy.

These are my notes from the book.

From the Preface:

• Life holds a potential meaning under any conditions, even the most miserable ones.
• Don't aim at success -- the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, an it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. 

From Experiences in a Concentration Camp

• The prisoner who had lost faith in the future -- his future -- was doomed. With his loss of belief in the future, he also lost his spiritual hold; he let himself decline and become subject to mental and physical decay.
• What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life -- daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual. 
• These tasks, and therefore the meaning of life, differ from man to man, and from moment to moment. 
• People wanted to commit suicide -- it was a question of getting them to realize that life was expecting something from them; something in the future was expected of them. 
• A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how."
• Camp survivors -- only slowly could these men be guided back to the commonplace truth that no one has the right to do wrong, not even if wrong has been done to them. 

Logotherapy in a Nutshell

• Logotherapy (LT) focuses on the future, on the meanings to be fulfilled by the patient in his future. LT is a meaning-centered psychotherapy. 
• In LT the patient is actually confronted with and reoriented toward the meaning of his life.
• Man's search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life and not a "secondary rationalization" of instinctual drives. This meaning is unique and specific and must be and can be fulfilled by him alone. 
• LT regards its assignment as that of assisting the patient to find meaning in his life. LT considers man a being whose main concern consists in fulfilling a meaning. 
• Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how."
• Ultimate meaninglessness of their lives --- existential vacuum -- don't know what to do. Instead he wishes to do what other people do (conformism) or he does what other people wish him to do (totalitarianism.)
• Existential vacuum manifests itself mainly in a state of boredom. 
• Masks and guises of existential vacuum -- sometimes the frustrated will to meaning is vicariously compensated for by a will to power, including the most primitive form of will to power, the will to money. In other cases, the place of frustrated will to meaning is taken by the will to pleasure (addiction). 
• Meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day. What matters is not the general meaning of life but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment. 
• Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. Each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible. LT sees responsibleness the very essence of human existence. 
• Categorical imperative of LT: "Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now."-- like a second chance in life.
• By declaring that man is responsible and must actualize the potential meaning of life, the true meaning of life is to be discovered in the world rather than within man or his own psyche. 
• The more one forgets himself -- by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love -- the more human he his and the more he actualizes himself.
• According to LT, we can discover meaning in life in: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone (loving someone); and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering
• In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as meaning of a sacrifice. 
• Viewing her life as if from her deathbed, she could see a meaning in it.
• Super-meaning: this ultimate meaning necessarily exceeds and surpasses the finite intellectual capacities of man ... bear his incapacity to grasp its unconditional meaningfulness in rational terms. 
• Pleasure is, and must remain, a side-effect or by-product, and is destroyed and spoiled to the degree to which it is made a goal in itself. 
• LT technique called "paradoxical intention" -- fear brings about that which one is afraid of, and that hyper-intention makes impossible what one wishes. 
• Reversal of patient's attitude, as his fear is replaced by a paradoxical wish. 
• Fear of sleeplessness results in a hyper-intention to fall asleep, which, in turn, incapacitates the patient to do so. To overcome this particular fear, I usually advise the patient to not to try to sleep but rather the opposite. 
• Tragic optimism - make the best of any given situation.
• Mass neurotic syndrome -- the three facets of this syndrome -- depression, aggression, addiction -- are due to "the existential vacuum.
• Even criminals prefer to be held responsible for their deeds. At San Quentin, "I told them you are human beings like me, and as such you were free to commit a crime, to become guilty. Now, however, you are responsible for overcoming guilt by rising above it, by growing beyond yourselves, by changing for the better."
• Nihilism does not contend that there is nothing, but it states that everything is meaningless. 

Carver, Altman and Short Cuts DVD

Just finished watching Short Cuts. And it comes to me that in Japan, in the 90s, the girl I was dating at the time was wild about Carver. Said I should read, What We Talk about When We Talk About Love. Read it. Totally didn't get. Wasn't ready for it. Was not old enough, didn't have enough life experience for it.

Today I get it.

Now having watched Altman's movie, I know he did a good job, as well as he could with the medium and with the amazing cast. But.

The visual medium can only hint, point at the source. And direct one to read the Carver stories, and how great, and depressing and awesome they are.

Having read the stories, I know how much Altman couldn't cover. How much he left off the table. Do yourself a favor. Read the short stories.

What i talk about when i talk about Ray Carver

Ray Carver short stories.

How long does it take to write like Ray Carver?

I read "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love," in my 20s. Totally didn't get it. Wasn't ready for it. And now in my 40s and I am just blown away and depressed by his stories.

Just finished "Short Cuts," and in the middle of "Cathedral."

Just. Quiet desperation. General unease. Characters who should be happy, but are not. And can't put a finger on why not. As if to ask, "Is this it? Is this all there is?"

As Walter Mosley says in his novel writing book, great stories are about transcendence and about us. Carver stories are that and more. And that's why it's so depressing and good. And they are all so similar and they just linger, too.

Gotta go the "Short Cuts" DVD, too.

RIP Sally Ride

Sally Ride died on Monday. She was America's first woman in space. I only know who she is because E's Science Camp is named after her. Wife told me the news last night, then added she was gay.

"That's cool," I said.
"Well, she had to hide it while she was alive," she said.
"Ok, not cool."

But, but what about the male astronauts who went in space with her? They finally thought, "Cool. A chick. A chick in space, and why is she not attracted to me?"

They're now thinking, duh, that makes sense.

A cool, cool strong woman, a role model for my girls, dies and all I can think about are the male astronauts? Yup. That, in a nutshell, is a man, or caveman, to be more accurate.

R.I.P. Sally Ride.

Not Giving Correctly

In thinking over my previous post about giving to a homeless guy, I realized that I was not giving correctly. Not giving in the right spirit. I was giving for selfish reasons. I was expecting something in return from the Universe.

But that's not right. I'm supposed to give. That's it. With no expectations. No thinking that the Universe owes me something. End of transaction.

I need to practice this Right Way of Giving.

$5 in my wallet

Today, I had $5 in my wallet.  I just haven't had time to go to the ATM. So at my freeway exit, the guy had a sign, "Help." I gave him a $1 because: 

1. The sign was simple. It was direct. It told me what to do. All those other homeless people try to put their life story, their hard-luck stories -- homeless, jobless, hungry, Veteran, need to feed kids, etc -- too much info.
2. I gave for selfish reasons. I'm reading James Altucher, who says that in giving, I'll get more back. And it felt good, too.

I try to give whatever change is in the car. But sometimes -- and I hope this doesn't make me a bad person -- if the cardboard makeshift sign has a misspelling or bad grammar, I am less likely to give. I blame my high school English teacher.

One Minute Entrepreneur notes

by K. Blanchard, D. Hutson and E. Willis.

• at any given time, we are becoming the average of the five people with whom we are most closely associated. 
• zig ziglar: "You can get everything you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want."
• If you don't love what you're doing, you will never put in the necessary time to be the best.
• Four rules of successful entrepreneur: 1. Sales have to exceed expenses; 2. Collect your bills; 3. Take care of your customers; 4. Take care of your people. 
• Let your customers know that they are the number-one priority. Make them feel loved and respected. 
• You have to give them legendary service and create 'raving fans'  -- they become part of your sales force. 
• Sheldon Bowles (Raving Fans) -- 3 secrets of creating raving fans -- decide, discover, and deliver. 
• You're going to beat the competition (not on price) but on Moments of Truth. 
• Become masters of discovering what our customers are thinking. Requires good listening skills. 
• Listen to understand, and then decide what you want to do about what you have heard. 
• Listening without being defensive is also helpful if you make a mistake with a customer. 
• Deliver. Deliver plus one percent. 
• The way to create eagles (not DUCKs) is to treat your people as partners so they feel empowered to act like they own the place. 
• To let them soar like eagles instead of quack like ducks. To do that requires owners and bosses who are servant leaders. 
• Leadership that is perceived as side by side rather than top to bottom is more likely to create high performance and satisfaction. Side-by-side leadership. 
• If you can't measure something, you can't manage it. 
• Managers often think of their job as judging, evaluating, and criticizing their people. What is really is about helping, cheerleading, and supporting their efforts. 
• that you'll never really be successful unless you help others. 
• your people are not your subordinates, they are your partners.
• Substitute strategic patience for crisis management. 

Not About the Coffee book notes

It's Not About the Coffee, Howard Behar. Now I have to read Howard Schultz's book, too.

In a nutshell, it's about the people. Your customers and your employees. Seth says the same thing, but so many companies and employees just don't get it.

• Have a BHAG -- Big Hairy Audacious Goal.
• Serious runners visualize a 110-yard dash (in a 100-yard race). 
• We expend time, money and effort taking care of ourselves and our image rather taking care of others. We get tangled in our underwear, in our individual concerns, individual results, and individual resumes. We lose sight of why we're here and what we're trying to accomplish. 
• Critical mass and the 100th monkey. We lead and make a difference by doing what is right. You make lots of things happen if you don't worry about who gets the credit. 
• If you are not able to work on your dreams, if you're only working on work, you're not in the right place. 
• "Most of us have jobs that are too small for our spirit." -- studs terkel in working.
• The person who sweeps the floor should choose the broom.
• It's all too easy to get caught up in the following the rule book rather than meeting the true needs of the people we serve. 
• Ideally, management should never tell someone how to do something or what to feel. 
• Guidelines we need to as a set of standards or expectations. Rules drive me crazy. 
• Instead of writing manuals that lock people into dehumanizing behaviour, we should focus on outcomes we want and the reasons behind them.
• Sweeper / picks broom -- Once everyone has come to an agreement about what needs to be accomplished, then the people with the hands-on expertise can follow through in the most effective way. 
• Bruce Nostrom: about providing freedom as the primary job of the employer: freedom to serve, freedom to make decisions right on the spot, and a management willing to live with those decisions. 
• Take the time to explain what needs to be done and why.
• I ask them to think wisely but act independently. Or know why you're here and act accordingly. 
• Care. People don't care how much you know. They want to know how much you care. -- saying. 
• Care, like we mean it. 
• Caring isn't easy, and it isn't the same as being nice. It's about words and actions that everybody sees and recognizes. 
• If we have a problem, we bet on the human spirit and believe that when people come together, face-to-face, the human connection wins out.
• Small is beautiful, book -- "The fundamental task is to achieve smallness within a large organization."
• Listening. Paying attention to all the things the customers weren't saying or asking. Have your antennae up anywhere and everywhere. 
• I'd listen to the walls.
• Listening to the unspoken. We needed to meet their needs -- not our own. We needed to truly listen and care. 
• Compassionate emptiness involves listening with compassion but without preconceived notions. Full of compassion but empty of solutions.
• You get to the bottom of a lot of problems quickly by trusting the silence to reveal the heart of things. 
• When money isn't the driving force, there are lots of things you do to make the work meaningful, to make the experience better, to serve your customers better.
• A crisis demands the truth -- to ourselves and to others. It demands that we know, and remind ourselves, why we're here, what we're trying to accomplish, and where we're headed as an individual and as an organization. 
• We are always human beings first.
• Every organization can survive catastrophe if its people are open and honest and accept responsibility.
• People have always come first.
• Start finding ways to say yes as a matter of practice.
• 
  

Seth Godin Small / Big Part 3 Notes

• Verbs. People care much more about verbs than nouns. They care about things that move, that happen, that change. Nouns just sit there. Verbs are about wants and desires and wishes. Is your Web site a noun or a verb?
• Act differently if on camera? Best motivation is self-motivation. That teaching people the right thing to do is far more effective than intimidating them into acting out of fear. It's harder to find people who act the way we might like. 
• People hit the wall. A place where a huge percentage of people abandon the process. 
• Winners are those who treated their customers and their constituents with respect and did it with honesty. 
• Too many companies are afraid to admit they are in the packaging business. 
• The Web, the engineer's revenge, is all about the content and commodities, not sexiness and wrappers. 

Bonus: About Web Design.

• Big Pict #1: A Website must do at least one of two things, but probably both: 1. Turn a stranger into a friend, and a friend into a customer. 2. Talk in a tone of voice that persuades people to believe the story you're telling. 
• Big Pict #2: A Website can cause only four things to happen in the moments after someone sees it: 1. She clicks and goes somewhere else you want her to go; 2. She clicks and gives you permission to follow up; 3. She clicks and buys something; 4. She tells a friend. 
• A Web page is a step in the process. The purpose of this step is to get you to the next step. That's it. So what's that Web page for? What about this one? 
• Don't have a home page. Have "landing pages."
• Yes, you can easily show different pages to returning visitors, and you should.
• A website is a series of processes. 
• Each step of the way, you need to stake out a position. Must say, without saying it, "the smart thing to do would be click here. best way to solve your problem is to click here." Must "wax" the lanes of your "bowling" website.
• Need to change your pages all the time. Daily even. 
• Choice is a bad thing. When faced with too many pages, people flee. Contact is good. Eliminate dead ends and error pages. 
• As a device, your page is there to get the viewer from one place to another. From stranger to friend. One or two clicks, in, then out. 
• Three questions you must answer about every page you build: 1. Who's here? 2. What do you want them to do? 3. How can you instantly tell a persuasive story to get them to do #2?

Bonus #2: About Blogs

• No one cares about you. Almost no one even knows you exist.
• Three kinds of blogs: 1. Cat blogs (my blog is a cat blog, according to godin); 2. Boss blogs - used to communicate to a defined circle; 3. Viral blogs - a blog to spread ideas. 
• This is a riff for viral bloggers. It's about how to make your ideas spread far and wide and have more impact. 
• The first principle is to make your entries shorter. Use images and tone and design  and interface to make your point. Teach people gradually. 
• Good ideas, by my definition, are the ones that spread. 
• If you write something great, and do it over and over and over again, then you'll be unstoppable. Whether or not someone helps you. 
• The best blogs start conversations, they don't control them. 
• Marketing is really about two things. Talking and listening. 
• Most important kind of talking is storytelling. Not top-down dictation, but stories that resonate, stories that are authentic, stories that spread. 
• You need a committed group of subscribers, a substantial and influential RSS audience that will stick with you as you tell your story. Then, over time, take your readers on a journey. Teach them what you'd like them to know, and the rest will take care of itself. 

Damn You James Altucher

I'm reading your blog and reading three of your e-books and even purchased your lucky and hedge fund trading book and what has all this got me?

You got me hooked on online chess! Must stop playing chess.

There's good reasons I stopped playing.

Oh, well. must own up to it and not blame mr. altucher. must stop. playing. chess.

Seth Godin's Small is New Big Part 2 Notes

Hope i can finish these in two parts, but i'm only on the M's. practicing typing, too.

• The challenge of marketing is to get ideas to spread. 
• Wrong way. Companies that have decided that the best way to make a buck is to race to the bottom, to be the cheapest or fastest to the market. 
• Needle and Vice. Best marketers use both. They apply their marketing pressure so consistently and in such a measured and relentless way that sooner or later, they profit from it. 
• Finding Purple Cow. Figure out what the always is, then do exactly the opposite. Do the never. 
• Make something worth making. Sell something worth talking about. Believe in what you do because you may have to do it for a long time before it catches on. 
• Permission. That's an offer about me, not them. 
• Pigeons. The problem comes when people in power are superstitious -- when superstition becomes part of the operating system. ... these managers as examples of the current crop of fundamentalists .. they have two traits: 1. they live according to a large body of superstitions; 2. they believe they are right and everyone is wrong. Fundamentalists decide whether they can accept a new piece of information based on how it will affect their prior belief system, not based on whether it is actually true. 
• You will succeed in the face of change when you make the difficult decisions first. They refuse to make the difficult decisions when the difficult decisions are cheap.
• Sayings. Products that are remarkable inspire conversation. People don't buy what they need. They buy what they want. You're not in charge. And your prospect don't care about you. What the people want is the extra, emotional bonus they get when they buy something they love.
• In the old days, people made stuff. You don't make stuff. You make decisions.
• Respect. Companies grow by treating people with respect. By marketing to people who want to hear from you. It's not just good manners, it's profitable. Everyone wants to be treated with respect -- all the time. When we treat people with respect, they're more likely to do what we want.
• "Who benefits?" Key question. Companies that work to benefit their customers will have no trouble treating the newly picky consumer with respect. Unlike the ones who work to trick and coerce their customers. 
• What's a rift? It's a big tear in the fabric of the rules that we live by. It's a fundamental change in the game, one that creates a bunch of new losers -- and a handful of new winners. 
• Rules. Market leaders make up the rules. If you play by those rules, you will almost certainly lose. The alternative is both obvious and scary: Change the rules.
• Sales. Make something people want to buy.
• Marketing that involves making the right product, not hyping it.
• Marketing and lying. Like fiction, tell a story that resonates. Be a true liar. 
• Scarcity is value. How do you deal with scarcity? Whining is rarely a successful response to anything. What's scarce now? Respect. Honesty. Good judgement. Long-term relationships that lead to trust. Ultimately, what is scarce is that kind of courage -- which is exactly what you can bring to the market.
• Secrets of success. Desire to be three steps ahead. Do something worth doing. Connecting people to people. Keeping promises. 
• People ultimately judge only thing about you: the way the engagement makes them feel. So how do you make them feel? 
• As long as we focus on the commodity, on the sharper needle, we're lost. Sharpest needle is rarely the one that gets out of the haystack. 
• Shortcuts, no such thing. Offer something the email/newsletter that people actually want to read. Promise people exactly what you intended to give them. Create content that was so remarkable that people wanted to share it. 
• Short sentences get read. Short words are better than long ones. 
• Easy to launch stuff, hard to figure out what will work. All about choosing the right model and being remarkable. 
• Marketing is all about making changes. Good way to sell change is not with the promise of gain. It's with the fear of loss. Sad but true. 
• Start now. What if you had no choice? What if you had to start something? What would it be?
• Stop working for the factory and start building something that people will remember. 
• "we don't care, we don't have to" economy. And there's not enough competition to harm the uncaring industry leaders.
• Reset button. Switch. Directions or careers. It's easier than ever. 
• Either their torchbearers or they're not. 
• Marketers stopped acting like real people. Successful marketers showed their customers respect. The magic kicks in when the marketers are smart enough and brave enough to combine trust with respect. Treat their customers like respected colleagues or admired family members. Have the courage to make promises and keep them. Do more than promised, not just what the contract says. 
• Secrets: 1. Take responsibility. 2. Pay attention to detail. All businesses are service businesses, and experience is the product. 
• Ubiquity (success?). Before ubiquity, product or creator wasn't in it just for the money, somehow it fel more real, more special, more authentic. [Aversion to marketing] comes from people's desire to have something real -- and to get it from someone who isn't trying quite so hard to sell it. 
• Is it authentic? People who create something authentic but then sell out almost always end up unhappy. Because once you sell out, any new success you have doesn't come from your authenticity. You're in a business now. 
• Could you be happy practicing your authentic task for the rest of your life?

Continued in Part 3.

Seth Godin can do no wrong

Just finished Small is the New Big.  I've always felt like such a cog in the machine. I'm using 5% of my brain and 1% of my creativity at work. I was meant for something more, something bigger, more meaningful.

I've been feeling it's too late for me and putting my hopes on my children, but maybe just maybe there's time for me yet. I need to get off this cubicle train.

Here are the notes, quotes that resonate for me from the Godin's book. I've read about four or five of his books and he's not written at bad book yet. He's one of my gurus/mentors.

• Aretha was right. Respect is the secret to success in dealing with people.
• Do something that matters.
• Markets engage in conversations, but marketing often doesn't. The reality is that most brands are actually monologues, not dialogues. A conversation might create a better, more robust, more useful brand but, alas, most organizations can't handle that truth. So they do their best to do it the old way.
• A true brand is something where the self-esteem value far exceeds the utility.
• Hard work is where our future job security, our financial profit, and our future joy lie.
• Working hard is about taking apparent risk. ... far more conservative than sticking with the status quo.
• Hard work is about risk ... dealing with things that you'd rather not deal with: fear of failure, fear of standing out, fear of rejection. 
• Purple cow = remarkable. It's just something worth talking about. 
• Marketing is a show. Designed to satisfy wants, not needs. Take it less seriously. 
• Competence is the enemy of change. Competent people resist change. "Competence" is too often  another word for "bad attitude."
• Marketing is stories.
• Sorry: most of the time, most of your customers will cut you slack if you just acknowledge that the outcome isn't the one they (they they) deserve. Most people have a hard time saying they're sorry. They don't want to acknowledge the feelings of the other side. 
• Example apology: "You must feel terrible about what happened. I know I do. If there were any way I could figure out how to make this better for you, I'd do it."
• You're free to pick the projects that make you happy.
• Do it for the learning, not for the grades. 
• There are two ways to grow: by stealing from the competition or by growing the market. The first path is slow and painful and difficult. The second path is where the magic of fast growth kicks in. 
• Feedback. The first rule of feedback is this: No one cares about your opinion. What i want instead of your opinion is your analysis. Accurate analysis is a lot harder than opinion because everyone is entitled to his or her own tastes. The second rule? Say the right thing at the right time.  Try to figure out what sort of feedback will have the most positive effect on the final outcome, and contribute it now. Third rule? If you have something nice to say, please say it. Last rule: Give feedback, no matter what.
• Marketing/Selling by Flipping the Funnel: a) Turn strangers into friends; b) Turn friends into customers; c) And then ... do the most important job: Turn your customers into salespeople. 
• Give your fan club a megaphone and get out of the way.
• They don't care (they don't have to). Most of your friends and customers don't talk about you. It's because they're unimpressed. 
• You need to give your fan club some leverage, an amplifier -- a megaphone.
• Be authentic. Create products that are genuinely worth talking about. 
• Interactions are a million times more powerful than interruptions (the more traditional form of marketing.)
• The reason for a lawn? To demonstrate wastefulness. 
• What makes you remarkable is being amazing, outstanding, surprising, elegant, and noteworthy.
• How to sell or change minds. 1. Sell to people who are already in the mood to flip. 2. Start a cascade of small flips. Being right, being persuasive, and being with the right person when that person is predisposed to change their mind -- that's when things happen. 
• Local Max. Most people get stuck at the Local Max because changing strategy in any direction leads to poorer results. The problem is that to get to the Big Max, you need to get past point C, which is a horrible and scary place to be. 
• Local Max, mistakes. There are two mistakes that satisfied Local Max folks make: 1. Believing that they can get to the next Max in a linear, pain-free way; 2. Believing that the best way to get there is with brute force (more products, more salespeople, more ads...). In fact, the opposite is true.

-- To be continued.

The Lone Wolf Start-up (Day 4)

Connecting people. Communications. That's the biz model for the modern life. Facebook. Linkedin. Internet. Phones. 

Joining people. Meetup.

No wonder I can't come up with a successful start-up. I am one anti-social SOB. Maybe there's a biz for lone wolves like me?

Someone is Trying to Tell Me Something (Day 3)

Or there is no such thing as coincidences.

1. The other day in jj, upper belt was warning about being more careful about my neck, a couple of warnings actually.
2. Waiting in a parking lot for the car ahead of me to me, I sat there in the car with the family as a parked car started to back out and right into my passenger door. I honked as he continued to come out. Frantically, I honked again several times til finally he stopped. A few INCHES from my car.
3. Today, 4th of July, swimming, I dived and hit the side of head on the bottom of the pool. Then I see the No Diving sign. And I had my eyes closed as I went in. Stupid. Ego.

As Steve Jobs said, if this is the last day of my life, is this the way i want to spend it? Yelling at my kids, stressing about money?

Need to change some things in my life. What?

Fear of the Abyss of My Thoughts (Day 2)

If I didn't have any books to read, or blogs to read or internet or if I wasn't thinking about chasing money or cleaning the house or or or ... any other distractions, then I would be alone with my thoughts.

How scary is that?

I did meditate before, so it's not that frightening, but still.

What do I do with myself? What engages me?

How Much Money is Enough? (Day 1)

That's the question of the day and will begin Day 1 of the Write Every Day Project. We'll see how many days I can keep it up.

Because I have enough...for now. I have enough money for most things. I could pay cash for whatever I wanted now. Today. (Would I do it? No. But I could.)

I don't have enough money to quit the day job. I don't have enough saved for the kids' college fund. (Then again having found James Altucher and his views on college, I'm really rethinking the whole needing to go to college myth.).

Well, I could stop working for a little bit. So... the answer is I have enough, but not enough-enough. But let's say I have enough-enough, WHAT WOULD I DO WITH MYSELF ALL DAY?

Play poker? Play chess? Day trade? Start a t-shirt company. Make soap. Make toys. Make kids' furniture.

I need to answer this question, and I need to start figuring it now because I have enough money now and the time to explore. Otherwise, 5, 10 years from now, I'll have even more money and will have to start answering the question then.

What do I want to do all day?
Stop chasing the money and think about: what do i want to do all day? what makes me happy?

I like to read. To write. To make things. To travel with the kids. Train JJ. Learn to surf.

The Ice Cream Maker notes

by Subir Chowdhury.

book about Quality.

• Profits are the result, the by-product of great service, great quality, great teamwork -- not an end in themselves. 
• Turn what you do every day out of necessity into something you love to do.
• But you can make any job fun, and fulfilling -- if you show them how they are contributing.
• Every company has two kinds of customers -- inside the company (employees) and outside the company. 
• Better we treat our employees, the better they treat our customers. 
• When i focus solely on results, on store profits, we don't do as well. But when i focus on helping people.
• Focus on the process. Sports analogy. Jack Nicklaus never looked at the leaderboard til last day of tournament. Because if you think about your score, you'll lose your focus on how you achieve a good score. 
• LEO - Listen. Enrich. Optimize. Listen to both customers. Enrich the products or services. Optimiziing the customer experience. 
• Few companies listen. Most have DJ Syndrome. Play what they want, not what listeners want. 
• Quality is defined by the customer. And you get their definition by listening to them. 
• Customers have several needs: 1. basic; 2. performance; 3. excitement, what delights them. (surprise them by over-delivering). 
• Most American companies are better at delivering "excitement" than they are providing customers' basic needs.
• Help people. Help your customers. 
• Continual improvement: need to be thinking about how to improve your product or service every day. 
• Success comes down to three things: 1. strong desire to change how we do things whenever we see something that we can do better; 2. a willingness to think outside the box to come up  with the best solution; 3. an urge to improve everything we do. 
• from LEO - optimize. Not just improve, but optimize. Means strive for perfection. Perfection is a real and tangible goal. 
• To achieve for Perfection, you need: 1. recognize the price of failure; 2. do it right the first time; 3. get absolutely dogged on the details; 4. get productive paranoia; 5. passion for perfection, a task into a mission. 
• The small stuff is the big stuff. 
• Less emphasis on company fireman, and more on company fire marshals, the people who prevent the fires from happening. Everyone is a fire marshal. 
• Quality is consistency. Be judged at our worst. Have sustained excellence. 

Free Prize Inside notes

by Seth Godin.

Slowly going to read all his books.

• skeumorphs -- hiding the truly remarkable elements of your free prize behind comfortable features that people can believe in.
• Bad idea to answer objections. sooner or later they will find an objection you can't answer. Better to answer an objection with a question. and if ... "solve your objection, then can we go ahead?"
• let them pee on your idea ... get them on board. 
• Art and Fear, Ted Orland and D. Bayles.
• Process that matters. Once you master the process, it keeps getting easier.
• Become a champion (leader) of idea / project: once you know how to champion a project, you're set for life, regardless of where you happen to be working. 
• nearly all the free prizes start out cheap and small. 
• You only create a free prize when you go all the way to the edge and create something remarkable. 
• Successful edgecraft comes down to two things: Pick an edge that matters to your consumer and figure out how to get right to it.

Keith Yamashita's great design checklist that was in the endnotes.( 3 step process.)
1. Define the problem.

• defining the problem.
• envisioning the end state. (knowing what victory looks like)
• defining the approach by which victory can be achieved. 

2. Innovating

• seeking insight to inform the prototyping of the solution.
• prototyping potential solutions
• delineating the tough choices
• enabling the team to work as a team

3. Generating Value

• choosing the best solution, the activating it
• making sure people know about your solution
• selling the solution

more endnotes:

• neology -- art of making up your own words when existing ones aren't cool enough.
• Unleashing the Ideavirus, google and free download?

Day 70 (Week 10) - Done.

Transformation Challenge Over!

Push ups: 50.

Pull ups: 8.

3 Mile Run: 32:59.

Slight change in body. Weight: lost a couple of pounds, a little more definition, but do I have the Brad Pitt Fight Club abs? No. I have about 15% - 20% of my goal -- I have about a 1.5 of a 6 pack.

What's next? I will work on:

• Towel pull ups for grip training. 
• Keep running 3-4 miles a week. Cause I like it. 
• Aim for 100 crunches / 2 min. mark.
• Continue push ups. 
• BJJ drills. 

The Hurried Child book notes

by David Elkind. (Growing up too fast too soon).

An oldie but a goodie. And the exact opposite of Tiger Mom, which I read just before this.

• when people are under stress they become egocentric and do not -- cannot -- appreciate other people's needs or interests.
• If we take some of the pressure off schools and school administrators, we will take some of the pressure off children.

• If we are asking too much and hurrying our children developmentally or energetically, we can either cut back on our demands or increase our supports.

• children are most like us in their feelings and least like us in their thougthts.

• We need to respond to a child's feeling more than to her intellect. By responding to the young child's feelings, we lessen the stress of hurrying.

• If we summarize the way in which the three age groups react to hurrying, we might say that young children tend to blame themselves, children tend to blame the world, and adolescents tend to blame their parents.

• adolescents pay us back in their teen years for all the sins, real or imagined, that we committed against them  when they were children. [able to process and react by then. - didn't have the mental capacity before]

• play is nature's way of dealing with stress for children as well as adults

• if we concentrate on the here and now, without worrying about yesterday or tomorrow, our children will do likewise.

So what do i take away from this? That I really need to be nice so they don't turn out to be monsters as teenagers?

I Made $2000 in 2 Days. Hell lucky!

Yes, I know it was complete dumb luck. A gamble. Speculation. Call it what you will, but I'm writing it down to see if it's possible to replicate the performance. To find another like it. And I'm trading in my tax-advantaged account.

Stock A - DF.
Bought $3000 worth May 9, 2012, after an earnings surprise, after a spike of about 30%. It went down and back up a bit. Sold it two days later, lost just the transaction costs (-20).

Stock B - ARNA
Bought $3800 worth May 9, 2012, after spike of about 25% - once again trying to ride the momentum. After I bought, they suspend the stock from trading for one day while they have a FDA ruling panel to approve their diet pill. By all accounts, it looks like it will get approved.

May 11, FDA approves it. Stock opens and jumps 55%, and I close out my position, pocket $2000.

* I was lucky to get in ahead of the news that I didn't even know about. But I did stumble upon it by price and volume action.

** DF - i think i will stick with under $10 stocks for now.

Day 54 (Test Day Week 9)

Push ups: 50.

Crunches (2 min): 59

Pull ups: 8.

3 Mile Run: 28:59* (PB).

Day 48 (Test Week 8)

Push ups: 50 (Personal best)

Crunches: 66 (PB)

Pull ups: 7

3 Mile Run: 29:29 (PB). Yay, finally broke the 30 min. mark.

Gotta work on improving my pull ups.

No Excuses, No Options

Nike has "Just Do it."

TSC guy says "Crush it."

Px90 says, "Bring it."

Former Navy Seals guy has, "Not Dead, Can't Quit."

I need to invent my own catch phrase, motto or saying.

So far, I've got, "No excuses, no options."

No options means no other choice but to continue on the path in front of me, no other choices like quitting, just keep going, no option but the present one.

I don't know, seems a little negative, need to put a positive spin, positive language somehow.

Ready for Facebook IPO

They always talk about if you invested 10k in, something like Berkshire or Walmart or Apple or Microsoft back in the day and held it til the present you'd be a rich, rich guy. And everyone says, you have to have that spare 10k lying around and you have to know to pull the trigger.

Two conditions:
1. Have the 10k.
2. Know to pull the trigger.

Case Histories.

• Berkshire. Before my time.
• Walmart. Before my time. 
• Apple. Bought too early. Prob. 3 or 4k worth of stocks. Market tanked, along with Apple. Panicked and sold at bottom. Two years later, Steve Jobs comes back, and the stock as shot straight upward ever since. 
• Netflix. Had funds. Too late. 
• Starbucks. Missed boat. 
• Krispy Kreme. Missed boat. 
• Google. Had funds. Scared off by the naysayers.
• Chipolte. Had funds. Missed the IPO. 
• Amazon. Had funds. Missed the boat. Didn't even think about it til too late. 
• Microsoft. Missed the boat. Didn't think about it til too late. 

Which brings us to Facebook and its IPO. The two conditions are met.

I have the funds and I am ready to pull the trigger. We'll see how it turns out.

Day 42

BJJ: 1.5 hrs.

Day 41: Test Day (Week 7)

Push ups: 35.

Crunches: 55.

Pull ups: 7.

3 Mile Run: 31:39. (thought the new shoes (New Balance) would help. nope.

Crunches are improving. Pull ups and push ups, not so much.

Day 40

Push ups: 15

Crunches: 20

Pull ups: 3

Day 39

BJJ: 1.5 hrs.

Push ups: 20

Crunches: 20

Pull ups: 3

Day 38

Push ups: 15 (slow)

Crunches: 30.

Pull ups: 3

Bought new running shoes (New Balance 990). Sweet. Will see if I run faster this Friday.

Day 37

BJJ: 1.5 hrs.

Day 36: Test Day (Week 6)

Push ups: 31

Crunches: 35.

Pull ups: 4

3 Mile Run: 31:38.

Day 35

Push ups: 25-10.

Crunches: 50

Push ups: 20

Crunches: 30

Trading Fiasco

Day 2: was up $36.

Day: 3 -- lost all of it, including my initial $200 start up.

Should listen to my instincts. No easy money. Kinda reminded me of my poker days. Tilt. Tilt.

Day 34

Push ups: 25 (slowly).

Crunches: 25.

Push ups: 25

Crunches: 25

Day 33

Push ups: 25

Crunches: 25

Push ups: 25.

Push ups: 15

Wipers: 50

Pull ups: 5

Box jumps: 50

Not timed.

E. Reading Update

She has read:

• Protector of the Small (entire series), 
• Flowers for Algernon 
• abridged Don Quixote. 

Day 32

Push ups: 50

Wipers: 50

Pull ups: 7

No Box Jumps (sore knee).

Time: 5:42

Grand Option Trading Adventure

So after 1.5 hours and three trades later, I lost a grand total of .50 US cents. That's right. Since as a U.S. citizen I couldn't trade currencies or commodities or indices, I had only stocks left.

I registered with Optionbit and sweated out my three measly trades. Get rich it's NOT.

Linchpin notes, Part IV

by Seth Godin.

• We have everything we need, so we're not buying commodities. We're buying relationships and stories and magic. 
• Corporations tried to depersonalize all of those so they could lie to us, so they could package commodities, so they could scale without involving humans. 
• Only path available to you is to change me, connect with me, or make a difference in my life. 
• Wal-Mart wins because it's cheap and close. Everyone else who wins must do it by being generous. 
• Linchpins do two things for organizations: they exert emotional labor and they make a map.
• Creativity is personal, original, unexpected, and useful. Unique creativity requires domain knowledge, a position of trust, and the generosity to actually contribute.
• Delivering Unique Creativity -- hardest of all, because not only do you have to have insight, but you also need to be passionate enough to risk the rejection that delivering a solution can bring. You must ship.
• Understanding that your job is to make something happen changes what you do all day.
• Become a mapmaker.
• When you meet someone, you need to have a superpower. If you don't, you're just another handshake. Make the introduction meaningful.
• If you want to be a linchpin, the power you bring to the table has to be very difficult to replace. 
• Humility is our antidote to what's inevitably not going to go according to plan. Humility permits us to approach a problem  with kindness and not arrogance. Be a generous artist. 
• What do you do when you art doesn't work? Make more art. Give more gifts. Learn from what you did and then do more. 
• Live life without regret. 
• All these interactions are art. It's anything that changes someone for the better, any nonanonymous interaction that leads to a human (not simply a commercial) conclusion. 
• Art can't be bought or sold. It must contain an element that's a gift, something that brings the artist closer to the viewer, not something that insulates one from the other.
• You can't fake it, though, because humans are too talented at sensing when a gift is not a gift, when we're being played or manipulated. And sometimes our art isn't enough. It's not enough to get the sale or even a living. But we persist because making art is what we do. 

Linchpin notes Part III

from the book, Linchpin by Seth Godin.

• So, what's left is to make -- to give -- art.
• If there is no sale, look for the fear.
• Fear self-fulfills. Confidence self-fulfills as well.
• MIT is now free online. [response to excuse you don't have access to first class education or college]
• Your work is to ship. Ship things that make change.
• Whichever way the wind of resistance is coming from, that's the way to head -- directly into the resistance.
• Embrace the itch [anxiety] from the start, but don't scratch it. You sat with the anxiety; you didn't run from it or bargain with it. You stayed. 
• Idea of building a platform before you have your next idea, to view the platform building as a separate project from spreading your art. 
• Technique Seth uses to make stuff: 1. Write down the due date. Post it on the wall. Ship on this date, done or not.
• 2. Write down every single notion, plan, idea, sketch, and contact. Invite many people. This is where the thrashing and dreaming begin. 
• 3. Put all the notes/cards into a database. Thrashing playground. This is the very last chance they have to make the project better. 
• 4. One person (that would be you) goes through the database and builds a complete description of the project. Outline or model, etc. The blueprint. 
• 5. Take Blueprint to a few select people. They can approve it, cancel it or suggest a few improvements. 
• 6. Say, "If i deliver what you approved, on budget and on time, will you ship it?
• 7. Don't proceed until you get a yes.
• When you haven't set up a judge and jury for your work, you get to do art that doesn't alert the resistance. 
• Power of unreciprocated gifts. The very fact that gift giving without recompense feels uncomfortable is reason enough to take a moment to find out why.
• We can't repay him is precisely why his gift is so valuable. Linchpin thinking is about delivering gifts that can never be adequately paid for. 
• You best give a gift without knowing or being concerned with whether it will be repaid. The magic of gift system is that the gift is voluntary, not part of a contract. 
• 150 people in a tribe max. 
• You couldn't charge interest on a loan to anyone in your tribe. Strangers paid interest.
• Real gifts don't demand reciprocation and the best kinds of gifts are gifts of art.
• Gifts bring the two closer together, creating a tribe. 
• First circle - close friends; second circle - acquaintances/business people; third circle - fans, don't know them personally... we profit most when we make first and third circles as big as we can.
• Transactions distance parties from each other. Gift-giving does opposite. Lack of a transaction created a bond between giver and recipient, and perhaps surprisingly, the giver comes out even further ahead. 
• A key element for the artist is the act of giving the art to someone in the tribe.
• If I give you a piece of art, you shouldn't be required to work hard to reciprocate, because reciprocation is an act of keeping score, which involves monetizing the art, not appreciating it.
• If I touch you in any way, you then have two obligations: to make us closer, and to pass it on, to give a gift to another member of the tribe. 
• Artists are indispensable linchpins. Art is scarce; scarcity creates value. Gifts make tribes stronger. 
• Most successful people in the world are those who don't do it for the money.
• Three ways to think about gifts: 1. Give me a gift!; 2. Here's a gift; now you owe me, big time; 3. Here's a gift, I love you. #1 and #2 capitalist misunderstandings of what it means to give or receive a gift. The third is the only valid alternative.
• For some artists, the benefits are all internal. Creating art is an intrinsic good, something they enjoy. They don't want anything, don't seek anything, and if they're particularly resolute, won't get anything. 
• Artists don't give gifts for money. They do it for respect and connection and to cause change. So the best recipients are the ones who can reciprocate in kind. With honest gratitude. With clear reports about change that was created. With gifts that actually cost us, not tiny gratuity or faux appreciation. 
• As soon as you draw the map and mechanize and monetize emotional labor, you ruin it.
• As big business has realized that people crave connection, not stuff, they've tried to institutionalize it, measure it, and reward it. And they fail every time.
• If you appreciate a gift, consider saying, "thank you and ..." and how i used it, how it changed me, small detail about gift and its effect. 
• Money is a poor substitute for respect and thanks. Respect is the gift you can offer in return.
• How do I know what art to make? How do i know what gifts to give? The answer is the secret to your success. You must make a map. 
• You must become indispensable to thrive in the new economy. The best ways to do that are to be remarkable, insightful, an artist, someone bearing gifts. To lead. The worst way is to conform and become a cog in a giant system. 
• If you accept that human beings are difficult to change, and embrace (rather than curse) the uniqueness that everyone brings to the table, you'll navigate the world with more bliss and effectiveness. 
• Our inclination is to give fire a pass, because it's not human. But human beings are similar, in that they are not going to change any time soon either. 
• Ability to see the world as it is to begins with an understanding that perhaps it's not your job to change what can't be changed. 
• Attachment sign #1. use telekinesis and mind control to remotely affect other people; #2 - how you handle bad news. Learn what you can learn; then move on. It's not a personal attack. It Just Is.
• quadrant of the Linchpin -- right effort in the right place can change the outcome, and she reserves her effort for doing just that. 
• When a vendor or a customer must choose between an organization working hard to defend the status quo and one that's open to big growth in the future, the choice is pretty simple.
• Record biz -- blinded by their attachment to the present and their fear of the future. 
• That's why outsiders and insurgents so often invent the next big thing -- they don't start with a tangled past. 
• Art is the act of navigating without a map.
• She started doing her old job in a new way.
• If your agenda is set by someone else and it doesn't lead you where you want to go, why is it your agenda?
• In the old-school factory, the twin taskmasters are the manual and the assembly line. The manual tells you what to do, and the assembly line keeps the work coming. It's not your job to decide.
• Our work changed, but our psyches didn't.
• The alternative is to draw a map and lead.
• You can either fit in or stand out. Not both.
• The gift represents effort. Achieve goal by giving selfless gifts, and those benefit everyone.
• Restaurants and concerts -- not merely about the music or the food. It's about joy and connection and excitement. 
• only way to make it as a trapeze artist is to leap. Linchpin who leads change is able to do just that: leap.
• Transferring your passion to your job is far easier than finding a job that happens to match your passion. 
• No one is pushing you to stand out.
• "If only" is a great way to eliminate your excuse du jour. 
• You've calmed yourself in the face of anxiety, or done something for no compensation, or solved a problem with an insight. If you've done it once, you can do it again. Every day.
• Most of what people do all day is roach stomping. The little tasks that distract us from the art of the work, that slow us down and wear us out. 
• Nothing about becoming indispensable is easy. If it's easy, it's already been done and it's no longer valuable. 
• What will make someone a linchpin is not a shortcut. It's the understanding of which work is worth doing. The only thing that separates great artists from mediocre ones is their ability to push through the dip. Some people decide that their art is important enough that they ought to overcome the resistance they face in doing their work. Those people become linchpins.
• Dignity is more important than wealth. Respect matters. Gift of connection, of art, of love -- of dignity. 
• When your boss gives you a script to read, or when you crib something from a how-to book, it almost never works. That's because you're not telling the truth, you're not being human, and you're not being transparent.
• When the interactions are genuine and transparent, they usually work. When they are artificial or manipulative, they fail.
• We can sense it when you read the script because we're so good at finding the honest signals.
• Only successful way to live in a world of honest signals is to give the genuine gift. Genuine gifts, given with the right intent and a respectful posture ... we believe. When we believe, a different relationship can occur. One about "us," not just "you." But only if you cease to manipulate me and stop doing your job. Do your art instead.

Day 31

BJJ: 1.5 hrs.

Linchpin notes Part II

by Seth Godin.

• Two ways a linchpin can use "no." 1. Never use it (manage to find a way to do it. It's done. YES.); 2. No because we have the strength to disappoint you now in order to delight you later (when used with good intent, this negative linchpin is also priceless.)
• Like in nordic skiing, the person who leans forward the most wins the race.
• The cog is standing by, waiting for instructions.
• The physical (and mental) posture of someone creating art both changes and causes change. Art changes posture and posture changes innocent bystanders. 
• of 38 factors that motivated them to do their best at work -- the top 10: 1. challenge and responsibility; 2. flexibility; 3. stable work environment; 4. money; 5. professional development; 6. peer recognition; 7. stimulating colleagues and bosses; 8. exciting job content; 9. organizational culture; 10. location and community.
• only one is clearly extrinsic motivator (#4 money): interesting thing about money is that there's no easy way for an employee to make it increase, at least not in the short run. Most of the other elements, though, can go through the roof as a result of our behavior, contributions, attitude, and gifts. 
• And yet, cynical management acts like a factory, figuring that the only motivators are cash and freedom from scolding. 
• If you need to conceal your true nature to get in the door, understand you'll probably have to conceal your true nature to keep that job. 
• Emotional labor is the task of doing important work, even when it isn't easy.
• Volunteer to do emotional labor -- even when we don't feel like it.
• "The gift is to the giver, and comes back to him..." - walt whitman.
• When you do emotional labor, you benefit. The act of the gift is in itself a reward. Also, you benefit from the response of those around you.
• The essence of any gift, including the gift of emotional labor, is that you don't do it for a tangible, guaranteed reward. 
• "Most artists can't draw." -- Roy Simmons. "But all artists can see." - seth godin.
• Art is anything that's creative, passionate, and personal. And great art resonates with the viewer, not only with the creative. 
• An artist is someone who uses bravery, insight, creativity, and boldness to challenge the status quo. And an artist takes it personally. 
• Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient. The medium doesn't matter. The intent does.
• Art is a personal act of courage, something one human does that creates change in another. If there is no change, there is no art. If no one experiences it, there can be no change. 
• Art is the product of emotional labor. If it's easy and risk free, it's unlikely that it's art. 
• Art is unique, new, and challenging to the status quo. It's not decoration, it's something that causes change. It involves labor, emotional labor of doing something difficult, taking a risk and extending yourself.
• Passion is a desire, insistence, and willingness to give a gift. An insistence on doing important work. This relentless passion leads to persistence and resilience in the face of people not accepting your gift. 
• "Wait! Are you saying that I have to stop following instructions and start being an Artist? Someone who dreams up new ideas and makes them real? Someone who finds new ways to interact, new pathways to deliver emotion, new ways to connect? Someone who acts like a human, not a cog? Me?
• Yes.
• Poverty Mentality: If I give you something, it costs what I gave you. The more you have, the less I have. The more I share, the more I lose. 
• When you give something away, you benefit more than the recipient does. The act of being generous makes you rich beyond measure, and as the goods or services spread through the community, everyone benefits.
• Art is the ability to change people with your work, to see things as they are and then create stories, images, and interactions that change the marketplace.
• Perhaps i don't need a new job or project or boss. Perhaps i need to get in touch with what it means to feel passionate. People with passion look for ways to make things happen. The combination of passion and art is what makes someone a linchpin.
• Gifts allow you to make art.
• In everything you do, it's possible to be an artist, at least a little bit. If you're willing to suspend your selfish impulses, you can give a gift to your customer or boss or coworker or a passerby. And the gift is as much for you as it is for the recipient.
• Vital to know whom you are working for. Understanding your audience allows you to target your work and get feedback that will improve your work. Also, it tells you whom to ignore. Art for everyone is mediocre, bland, and ineffective.
• Moment you treat that person like a boss, like someone in charge of your movements and your output, you are a cog, not an artist. 
• Nobody cares how hard you worked: It's not an effort contest, it's an art contest. Emotional labor changes the recipient, and we care about that.
• Future of your organization depends on motivated human beings selflessly contributing unasked-for gifts of emotional labor. 
• Easier it is to quantify, the less it's worth.
• Job is what you do when you are told what to do. Your art is what you do when no one can tell you exactly how to it. Your art is the act of taking personal responsibility, challenging the status quo, and changing people. Process of doing your art "the work."
• The job is not the work. The job is not the work; what you do with your heart and soul is the work.
• Artists have the chance to make things better. 
• Passion is caring enough about your art that you will do almost anything to give it away, to make it a gift, to change people. Part of the passion is having the persistence and resilience to change both your art and the way you deliver it.
• Passion for your art also means having a passion for spreading your art.
• If ideas don't spread, if no gift is received, then there is no art, only effort. 
• Art, at least art as i define it, is the intentional act of using your humanity to create a change in another person. 
• Thrashing is the apparently productive brainstorming and tweaking we do for a project as it develops. 
• Thrash late and you won't ship.
• Missed deadlines: creators didn't have the discipline to force all the thrashing to the beginning.
• Coordinating teams of people become exponentially more difficult as the group gets larger. So projects stall as they thrash.
• Relentlessly limit the number of people allowed to thrash. Formal procedures for excluding people. Need secrecy. Appoint one person (a linchpin) to run it. 
• Lizard brain is the source of the resistance.
• Going out of your way to find uncomfortable situations isn't natural, but it's essential. Road to comfort is crowded and it rarely gets you there. Discomfort brings engagement and change. 
• One way to become creative is to discipline yourself to generate bad ideas. Worse the better. Do it a lot and magically you'll discover that some good ones slip through. 
• "Well-paying employment requires that workers possess unique skills, abilities, and knowledge. It also requires that the labor be non-commoditized. Unfortunately, journalistic labor has become commoditized." -- media economist Robert Picard.

Day 30: Test Day (Week 5)

Push ups: 43

Sit ups (2:00): 38

Pull ups: 7

3 Mile Run: 30:57

Yay. Broke 31 min. mark.

Linchpin notes

By Seth Godin.

Wow. I mean wow. I've marked almost the entire book. And it's a library book, too. Well, it's in pencil.

• If you're not indispensable (yet) it's because you haven't made that choice.
• We have gone from two teams (management and labor) to a third team, the linchpins. 
• No map: If you have a job where someone tells you what to do next, you've just given up the chance to create value. 
• Stop asking what's in it for you and start giving gifts that change people.
• Learn the new rules.
• You weren't born to be a cog in the giant industrial machine. You were trained to become a cog.
• Artists are people with a genius for finding a new answer, a new connection, or a new way of getting things done. 
• There are no longer any great jobs where someone else tells you precisely what to do. 
• Here's the law: Any project, if broken down into sufficiently small, predictable parts, can be accomplished for awfully close to free. 
• First you have interchangeable parts, then you have interchangeable workers. [actually workers are parts/cogs]
• If we can measure it, we can do it faster. If we can put it in a manual, we can outsource it. If we can outsource it, we can get it cheaper. 
• What we need are gifts and connections and humanity -- and the artists who create them.
• Leaders don't get a map or a set of rules. 
• If factories are our minds -- if the thing the market values is insight or creativity or engagement .. 
• The linchpins leverage something internal, not external, to create a position of power and value.
• End of ABC: Attendance-based compensation. There are fewer and fewer good jobs where you can get paid merely for showing up. 
• The only way to get what you're worth is to stand out, to exert emotional labor, to be seen as indispensable,and to produce interactions that organizations and people care deeply about. 
• Consumers say that all they want are cheap commodities. Given the choice, though, most of us, most of the time, seek out art.
• the competitive advantage the marketplace demands is someone more human, connected, and mature. Someone with passion and energy.
• All of these attributes are choices, not talents, and all of them are available to you. 
• "Not my job" -- three words can kill an entire organization. 
• If you're a linchpin, doing a job that's not getting done is essential.
• just maybe, would you be more successful if you were more artistic, motivated, aware and genuine?
• When customers have the choice between faceless options, they pick the cheapest, fastest, more direct option. You can't out-Amazon Amazon.
• Because everyone is a person, and people crave connection and respect.
• Letting people in the organization use their best judgement turns out to be cheaper and faster -- only if you hire the right people and reward them for having the right attitude. Which is the attitude of a linchpin.
• Mediocre obedience: we've been taught to be a replaceable cog in a giant machine. We've been taught to consume as a shortcut to happiness. We've been taught to not care about our jobs or our customers. And we've been taught to fit in. 
• we've been taught to embrace the system, to spend for pleasure, and to separate ourselves from our work. 
• Almost impossible to imagine a school with a sign like: "We teach people to take initiative and become remarkable artists, to question the status quo, and to interact with transparency. And our graduates understand that consumption is not the answer to social problems."
• the distinction between cogs and linchpins is largely one of attitude, not learning.
• Fear at School: things learned in frightening circumstances are sticky. Schools have figured this out.   Fear is the greatest shortcut on the way to teaching compliance. Classrooms become fear-based, test-based battlefields. 
• Schools teaching the wrong stuff: Fit in. Follow instructions. Use #2 pencils. Take good notes. Show up every day. Cram for tests and don't miss deadlines. Have good handwriting. Punctuate. Buy the things the other kids are buying. Don't ask questions. Don't challenge authority. Do the minimum amount required so you'll have time to work on another subject. Get into college. Have a good resume. Don't fail. Don't say anything that might embarrass you. Be passably good at sports, or perhaps extremely at being a quarterback.
• Participate in a large number of extracurricular activities. Be a generalist. Try not to have other kids talk about you. Once you learn a topic, move on.
• Key questions: Which of these attributes are keys to being indispensable? Are we building the sort of people our society needs?
• Being good at school is a fine skill if you intend to do school forever. 
• What they should teach at school: only two things -- 1. Solve interesting problems; 2. Lead.
• Leading is a skill, not a gift. 
• The linchpin is the essential element, the person who holds part of the operation together. 
• Depth of knowledge combined with good judgement is worth a lot. 
• Your job is also a platform for generosity, for expresson, for art.
• She didn't get assigned either of those jobs. She just did them. If you could write Marissa's duties into a manual, you wouldn't need her. But the minute you wrote it down, it wouldn't be accurate anyway. That's the key. She solves problems that people haven't predicted, sees things people haven't seen, and connects people who need to be connected. 
• challenge structure and expectation and status quo.
• Troubleshooting is never part of a job description. Troubleshooting is an art and a gift.
• Krulaks law -- the closer you get to the front, the more power you have over the brand. 
• If all you can do is the task and you're not in a league of your own at doing the task, you're not indispensable. 
• Emotional labor is available to all of us, but is rarely exploited as a competitive advantage.
• It's called work because it's difficult, and emotional labor is the work most of us are best suited to do. It may be exhausting, but it's valuable. 
• Scarcity creates value.
• Fearless doesn't mean without fear. It's being unafraid of things that one shouldn't be afraid.
• Reckless -- foolish. Feckless -- ineffective, indifferent, and lazy. 
• Key to success was dealing with fatigue. When you got tired, you didn't quit. Where to put the fear?? Linchpin feels the fear, acknowledges it, then proceeds. 
• Seek out achievements where there is no limit. 
• Showstopper. Opposite of being a cog is being able to stop the show, at will. 
• Art is never defect-free. 
• If it wasn't a mystery, it would be easy. If it were easy, it wouldn't be worth much. 
• The problem with meeting expectations is that it's not remarkable. 
• Want someone exceptional. Seek something that is neither good nor perfect. Want something remarkable, nonlinear, game-changing, and artistic. 
• Work is a chance to do art. 
• He saw an opportunity to give gifts. He had emotional labor to contribute, and his compensation was the blessings he got from customers.
• Bring your genius self to work. 
• A resume gives the employer everything she needs to reject you. 
• To get a job: show, not tell. Projects are the new resumes. Find a company that hires people, not paper. You are not your resume. Your are your work. 

Day 29

BJJ: 1.5 hrs.

This I Believe...

On the way to BJJ, at the freeway exit, there was a homeless guy begging with a sign that said, "Veteran. Hungry.

I needed my coins so I gave him a dollar bill, and I saw in my mirror that the car behind me gave him a some leftover salad in a clear plastic box,

A few minutes later, driving along, and thinking about this, I felt the presence of Something, call it Higher Being or Infinite Intelligence, it was a small feeling but pervasive and for the first time I believed in the EXISTENCE of what people call God.

Beliefs, faith and god exist in actions and deeds, this I believe. If I was searching for god, I need only to look for opportunities to act, to serve and to do good.

I'm not a religious person in the normal sense and I'm the last person to try to convert anyone. I'm only writing down my experiences, my thoughts.

G. update

G. (4 yrs. 3 months).

Slowly progessing through Phonics program. I need to be more consistent, but hard to find the time.

She likes Ballet and music. We need to look into Piano lessons for her. Need to start researching Kindergarten options. I'm leaning towards Montessori because she loves to help -- cleaning and setting up, etc.

E's Squishy Nose and other notes

E. (8 yrs, 2 months); in 3rd Grade.

She's missing a little cartilage on the bridge of her nose and it makes it extra squishy, and kinda soft to the touch. When we commented on it, she said her squishy nose was "a positive anomaly in a sea of ubiquity."

Fencing: She started taking fencing lessons a couple months before she turned 8. It's once a week. It was her idea, and I think she got it after watching The Princess Bride DVD.

Day 28

BJJ: 1.5 Hours.

Master-Key to Riches notes, Part II

by Napoleon Hill.

• then reluctantly, I retraced my footsteps back to the city, there to mingle once again with those who are driven, like galley slaves, to the inexorable rules of civilization, in a mad scramble to gather up material things they do not need. 
• suggest that the Infinite Intelligence reveals itself through silence more readily than through the boisterousness of people's struggles, in their mad rush to accumulate material things.
• Applied Faith: when the mind has been cleared of a negative mental attitude, the power of Faith moves in and begins to take possession. 
• Faith fraternizes only with the mind that is positive!
• Faith is the outward demonstration of Definiteness of Purpose!
• How to Demonstrate the Power of Faith: a. know what you want and determine what you have to give in return for it; possession of anything first takes place mentally; accept defeat as an inspiration to greater effort and carry on with belief that you will succeed; Let not a single day pass, without making at least one definite move toward the attainment of your Definite Major Purpose -- "Faith without works is dead."
• indomitable will backed by an abiding faith.
• dominating thoughts into reality.
• They all met with failure -- they didn't call it by that name; they called it "temporary defeat."
• Law of Cosmic Habitforce -- Nature's method of giving fixation to all habits so they carry on automatically. 
• Living habits, these we may fix by patterns of our thoughts.
• Cosmic Habitforce causes this. Any thought held in the mind through repetition begins immediately to translate itself into its physical equivalent. 
• If you desire sound health, give orders to your subconscious mind to create it and Cosmic Habitforce will carry out the order. First comes the "consciousness" of that which you desire, then follows the physical or mental manifestation of your desires. The "consciousness" is your responsibility. 
• the 17 principles: 1) Habit of Going Extra Mile; 2) Definiteness of Purpose; 3) Master Mind; 4) Applied Faith; 5) Pleasing Personality; 6) Habit of Learning from Defeat; 7) Creative Vision; 8) Personal Initiative [starts action and keeps it moving toward definite ends]; 9) Accurate Thinking; 10) Self-Discipline [product of carefully established and carefully maintained habits; solely a product of the will; this principle, when mastered and applied, gives one complete control over one's greatest enemy, oneself!]
• 11) Concentration of Endeavor; 12) Cooperation; 13) Enthusiasm; 14) Habit of Health; 15) Budgeting Time and Money; 16) Golden Rule Applied; 17) Cosmic Habitforce [principle by which all habits are fixed and made permanent in varying degrees; consists of a negative and positive potentiality, as do all forms of energy.]
• Habit. Repetition - means by which any habit is begun. 
• We are where we are and what we are because of our fixed habits. 
• Two ways of relating oneself to life. One is playing horse while life rides. Other is becoming the rider while life plays horse. Choice: Be the horse or rider. Life either rides or is ridden. 
• Ego. When self-suggestion attains the status of Faith, the ego becomes limitless in its power. It must be fed with Definiteness of Purpose. No one can become the master of anything or anyone until becoming the master of the ego. 
• Deeds not words. 
• People relate themselves because of motives. 
• Thomas Edison, Luther Burbank, John Burroughs, Harvey Fireston. 
• All riches begin within their own minds.Set off by strict self-discipline. 
• Faith without action is useless. 
• Ted Roosevelt -- a will which refused to accept defeat as anything more than an urge to greater effort. 
• Carnegie: "our only limitations are those which we set up in our own minds."
• Master-Key to Riches: power of thought! Nothing more nor less than the self-discipline necessary to help you take full and complete possession of your own mind! 
• Only thing over which you have complete control is your own mental attitude!

Master-Key to Riches notes

by Napoleon Hill.

By riches, he doesn't mean just money.

• Read this book twice, line by line, and think as you read! [can't. it's from the library and it's overdue already.]
• We have never yet found a truly happy person who was not engaged in some form of service by which others benefited.
• #1 of the 12 Riches of Life: Positive Mental Attitude
• #10: Self-Discipline -- the highest form of self-discipline ... expression of humility of the heart when one has attained great riches or had been overtaken by success.
• #12: Economic Security: not attained by possession of money alone. It is attained by the service one renders -- for useful service may be converted into all forms of human needs, with or without use of money. 
• Must proceed with outstretched hands, to give and to receive aid. To get one must first give!
• 9 Practices for Receiving Life's Rewards: #1 Gratitude.
• Power of thought is the only power over which one has complete control; no limitations to the power of thought save only those in one's own mind.
• Remember enduring riches must be shared with others; that there is a price one must pay for everything acquired. 
• Definite Major Purpose. Temporary defeat is but a testing ground which may prove a blessing in disguise if it is not accepted as final. 
• Carnegie's two tests: 1 - willing to Go Extra Mile; 2 - mind fixed on Definite Goal.
• Philosophy of individual achievement.
• 60 sec to answer Carnegie's question/test: proved definiteness of purpose.
• that the more successful people in all walks of life were, those have always been ones following the habit of rendering more service than which they were paid for. 
• Self-suggestion: link between conscious and subconscious mind.
• You can transfer thought from conscious to subconscious section of the mind more quickly by "stepping up" through faith, fear or any other highly intensified emotion. 
• Thoughts backed by faith have precedence over all others in definiteness and speed with which handed over to subconscious. 
• Successful people become successful only because they acquire the habit of thinking in terms of success. 
• Surest way to solve one's personal problems is to find someone with a greater problem and help that person solve it, through some method of application of the habit of Going the Extra Mile. 
• Habit of Extra Mile - one of 17 principles. It's doing more than one is paid for. 
• Greatest benefit from the habit - to those who render the service, in the form of a changed 'mental attitude;" more influence with others, more vision, more enthusiasm, greater initiative, more definiteness of purpose. 
• Success story consists of a series of little tasks well performed, in the right mental attitude. 
• Pity more have this spirit of assuming greater responsibilities.
• No one has ever been known to achieve permanent success without doing more than he was paid for. 
• Those who render more service and better service than they are paid for become indispensable and thereby insure themselves against unemployment. [Seth Godin, Linchpin touches on this point.]
• For the time being he ceased to think about  the amount of life insurance he might sell, and began to look around for opportunities to be of service to others who were burdened with problems they could not solve. 
• No one ever attains a high degree of enduring success without the friendly cooperation of others, nor does anyone ever attain enduring success without helping others. 
• Love: no one may ever become truly rich without it.
• Habit of Going Extra Mile leads to attainment of spirit of love; no greater expression of love than love which is demonstrated through service that is rendered unselfishly for the benefit of others. 
• First 3 Principles of philosophy: 1. Habit of Going Extra Mile; 2. Definiteness of Purpose; 3. Master Mind. 
• no Master Mind alliance can endure unless it benefits all whom it affects; applied to ends that benefit all who are affected by it.
• Master Mind -- greatest source of personal power. Right use. Harmonious alliance. Forming relationships that are mutually beneficial.
• Always remain a student: 9 basic motives which move people to voluntary action. 
• No one's education is ever finished. Learn from every possible source. 
• Everything that is worth having has a definite price. Patriotism has a price consisting of obligation to exercise it. 
• Master Mind principle -- individual may supplement power of his mind with knowledge, experience and mental attitude of other minds. 
• No form of human relationship is as profitable as the exchange of useful thoughts. 
• Contact with others. Harmonious relationships. A committed relationship. Love heads list of nine basic motives of life, which inspire all voluntary action. 
• Nagging, jealously, faultfinding, and indifference do not feed the emotion of love. They kill it.
• Every meal hour should be a period of friendly intercourse between a couple. Not a inquisition and faultfinding, but family worship, good cheer and discussion of pleasant subjects of mutual interest. 
• Love thrives best  where a couple feeds it through singleness of purpose. 

Day 27: 160

50 Push ups
50 Wipers
10 Pull ups
50 Box Jumps

To Time: 7:57.

Day 26 - Test Day (Week 4)

Push ups: 40

Pull ups: 9

3 Mile Run - 31:17.

Day 25

BJJ: 1 hour.

Managed to get some training in.

Day 24

Week away (Toronto) is wrecking my fitness program.

Push ups: 35-15.

Day 23

BJJ: 1.5 hrs.

Day 22: Test Day - Week 3

Push ups: 44

Pull ups: 8

3 Mile Run -- 31:08

Day 21

BJJ: 1.5 hrs.

Day 20

Push ups: 30-15-5

Wipers (no weight): 50

Pull ups: 6-2-2

Box Jumps: 50

Time: 8:47

Day 19

BJJ: 1.5 hours.

Getting a little bored, but I'm only at Day 19 of 70 of the Body Transformation / Modified 300 Workout.

I want to to see to revisit Px90x, but I should stick this out to the end and see where I'm at.

Day 18

Push ups: 40-10.

Pull ups: 7-2-1.

Box Jumps: 50

Total time: 5:03

Day 17

Pull ups: 3-3.

Day 16: Weigh In

151 lbs

Around Belly Button: 34 inches (no change).

BJJ: 1.5 hrs.

Day 15: Test Week 2

Push ups: 50

Pull ups: 8

3 Mile Run: 33:51

Day 14

Push ups: 35-15

Pull ups: 5.

Plank: 2:00

Blessings of a Skinned Knee notes

Blessings of a Skinned Knee (Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children), Wendy Mogel.

Wow. One of the best parenting books I've read so far. Makes me want to read the Torah next.

• In the Jewish mystical principle of tsimstsum - spiritual model of slowly relinquishing control over our children. "contraction of divine energy."
• If we overprotect them, we enslave them with our fears. Give them freedom to develop through overcoming difficulties.
• Our kids are on loan from God. They don't belong to us. We need to teach them to leave us. Not to make them happy but to make them competent to survive in the world.
• 20 minutes -- max and minimum we should be thinking about their education. 
• Jewish principles of Moderation, Celebration and Sanctification. And don't criticize or make fun of their choices.
• Having the courage to NOT to overprotect and pamper them means sometimes they will be uncomfortable and unhappy -- but that will lead to growth and development. 
• Let them solve their own problems. k
• Needs vs. Wants. They are entitled to: respectful treatment, healthful food, shelter, comfortable clothes, and doc and dentist visits and good education ... everything else is a Want. 
• Respect their desire but we can still say NO. 
• Gratitudes / say blessings. 
• Magical parenting word, "Let's ..."
• When they get "immediate satisfaction" - kids get "spoiled", and what gets spoiled is capacity for waiting, satisfaction, gratitude. They also become "spoilers."
• Right actions. Deed over creed (belief). 
• "Learn by doing." Chores. 
• Your child and you. Your character traits will boomerang back at you when you become a parent, reflected in your children's behavior. 
• Channeling the Yetzer Hara. Bad traits into good ones. 
• Don't be overly demanding. Avoid using words always and never. According to Jewish law, certain mitzvot (commanded actions) can be performed imperfectly. Asking them to do something, don't be over-critical and expect them to do it perfectly. 
• Success motivates. Make it easy for them to succeed. Remove stumbling blocks. 
• Don't try to provide instant solutions to your child's problems; instead, be quiet and listen.
• Talk less and act more. Be a role model, not a lecturer. 
• One minute rebuke: Tell consequence of her behavior. Be silent and evaluate child's reaction. Offer an opportunity to make amends. Finally, touch your child to remind her of your love. Hug her and let her know you are not harboring resentment. 
• When rebuke is not enough. Judaism holds that children should only be punished if they have been forewarned and know what to expect if they misbehave. 
• Reframing: If ... then to When ... then. (if you don't X, then you can't Y to When you X, then you can Y.)
• The purpose of discipline is to teach both new attitudes and new behaviors. Making amends is a a good way to help children what they did wrong, because child is required to actively undo or repair the unacceptable behavior. 
• try to make amends using whatever faculty he employed to commit the pesha. 
• Miriam Adahan had a simple formula for effective parenting: one-third love, one-third law, and one-third sitting on your hands. Sitting on hands -- blind eye to minor transgressions, picking battles. Law -- tough and unyielding, perhaps tougher than feels comfortable. 
• Developing middot (good character traits) is a lifelong process. Raising children will help you build middot, because changing their bad behavior will probably require you to change yourself. 
• Judaism has a blueprint for rest, reflection, and renewal. It is called Shabbat. 
• We speed up our lives unintentionally in order to escape feeling helpless in the face of overwhelming problems or inner struggles. May explain why the whole day of rest is terrifying to so many people. We're not afraid of losing time but of having time to reflect. Without the usual distractions and interference, we may have to confront feelings of disappointment, loneliness, frustration, panic, helplessness, and exhaustion, and our fear that we are not strong enough to make the changes we need to make. 
• Homework time formula: should increase 10 minutes for every grade, starting from Kindergarten. i.e. 1st Grade - 20 min. / 5th Grade - one hour.
• Time to Connect. Once each day, pay attention. Stop everything else you are doing, get down to her eye level, and put your hand on her shoulder. Look at her. Listen to her.
• They need to learn boredom management skills. We have to work hard not to provide our children with interesting things to do. They need a chance to build up their boredom tolerance muscle. 
• Marriage first, then children. Need to have time alone with your spouse. 
• In Judaism, doubting God is built into the theology. 
• If you wish your child to study Torah, study it yourself in their presence. They will follow your example. 
• Take the long view in measuring our children. Not by their grades, mood or social standing. Look at their capacity for reverence, for gratitude, and for compassion. 
• If you don't want to get caught up in the anxiety, materialism, and competition all around us, you must choose some path to walk on with your children. You must name it, follow it, and plan the curriculum for their spiritual education.

From the Recommended Reading List

• Hurried Child, D. Elkind
• Reviving Ophelia, M. Pipher
• When Bad Things Happen to Good People, H. Kushner
• Child's Bible, A. Edwards
• Torah, Modern Commentary, W. Gunther Plaut
• Your Eight-Year-Old (series of books), L. Bates.
• Weslandia, P. Fleishchman
• Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts, J. Wallerstein and S. Blakeslee.
• 
  

Day 13

Push ups: 30-20.

Pull ups: 3-3-4.

Day 12

BJJ: 1.5 hours.

Day 11

Push Ups: 20-15-15

Pull Ups: 6-3-1

Box Jumps: 50.

Day 10

BJJ: 1.5 hr.

Day 9

Push ups: 20-15-10-5

Pull ups: 5-3-2.

Day 8 (Body T): Test Day

Push ups: 35

Pull ups: 7

3 Mile Run: 35:25

Fight Club is the best

So I watched the Fight Club dvd, which made me want to read the book and was blown away by it. And the question on my mind: has Chuck Palahniuk written another book as good as that one. And to answer that properly, I had to read every novel he's written.

So after Fight Club, I read (in order that he wrote them): Survivor, Invisible Monsters, Choke, Lullaby, Diary, Haunted, Rant, Snuff.

And the answer is: NO. Fight Club is first book. It is also his best.

Day 7 (Body T)

Pull ups: 5

BJJ (one hour).

Day 6 (Body Transformation)

Push ups:   35/15
Pull ups:     7/2/1
Plank:         2:31
Box Jumps: 50 (2:10).

Day 5 (TSC)

Goal: 145 lbs (from 155)
10% Body fat (from 15.6%)

Uncover my ABS.

I train BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) three times every other week.

Today: BJJ (hour and a half).

And I've also been doing bits of the 300 Workout that overlaps the TSC, mainly the Pushups and Pullups. But there's also Box Jumps and Wipers (no weights) that I've been trying to get to also. Will be keeping track of those and see how I end up after 60 Days.

Day 4 TSC

March 5, 2012

Push ups: 50 (25-15-10)

Pull ups: 5

E.'s Reading update

She just finished reading the entire Redwall series, all 23 books. I would like to meet another 8 year old who has finished this series.

As to all the Harry Potter books, she's read them all about a year ago.

G. (her four year old sister) has just begun to recognize CAT, HAT, GO, NO, STOP.

TSC Day 3

Push ups: 50 (25-15-10).

Pull ups: 5.

TSC Day 1

March 2, 2012 (Day 1)

151.5 lbs, around the belly button (34 inches).

Pull ups: 7
Push ups: 31
3 Mile Run: 37:28.

Boo Boos and Sarcasm

G., who just turned 4, has been learning how to ride her bike. She can ride if I give her a push, but she can't quite get going by her herself. E., her older sister who's 8, just started riding with confidence within the last year.

G., the younger, is always getting scrapes, bumps and bruises. So when she fell off her bike, she bawled and in the midst of her loud cries, she said, "Oh, great, now I have more boo boos." Guess don't need to teach her about sarcasm.

Also, after I made a snide but gentle sarcastic comment to E., she says, "Ouchee Daddy. I'm offended." Well, wife and I have 10 more years of E., unless she gets to college early, and 14 more years of G.

No Good and Bad ...

and changing negative attitude into positives.

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." - from Hamlet , Wm. Shakespeare; Act II, scene ii


There is the famous Zen example about the man and his son and the horses that ran away. But I finally able to find some examples from my life. 


There really is no good or bad, only my reactions and things I control and things I can't. 


Example 1: Parking Spot. 
I've been trying forever to get a parking spot closer to my office, but all to no avail. My thinking is that I've been here long enough, don't I deserve a good spot?? No one agrees or cares. And I'm pissed and feeling unappreciated blah blah blah. And I was even on the verge of quitting over this but then I've been on a fitness/exercise kick and realized that parking farther makes me walk and burn more calories, so now I don't care about the spot nearby. 


Example 2: Changing Water
My department has about 20 people, who come and go and drink the water, but only two or three people ever change the water which weighs about 20, 25 lbs. And I use to get pissed off and think about how lazy they were, etc, but then I started this fitness/exercise kick and now I've included it into my office workout routine and look forward to changing it and even will fight for the opportunity to change the water bottle. 


No good or bad. And things I control, which is my reaction, my responses. I can't change other people.