Notes: Taming the Tiger Within

by Thich Nhat Hanh.

• If your house is on fire, the most urgent thing to do is to go back and try to put out the fire, not to run after the person you believe to be the arsonist. That is not the action of a wise person. You must go back and put out the fire. When you are angry, if you continue to interact with or argue with the other person, if you try to punish him, you are acting exactly like someone who runs after the arsonist while their home goes up in flames. 
• Whatever you do or say in a state of anger will only cause more damage in the relationship. Instead, try not to do anything or say anything when you are angry. 
• If it is your partner who is angry, just listen. Listen and do not react. Do your best to practice compassionate listening. Do not listen for the purpose of judging, criticizing, or analyzing. Listen only to help the other person express himself and find some relief from his suffering.