Thought this would be the last parenting book, but I need to read his first book on parenting, Parking Lot Rules and 75 Other Ideas for Raising Amazing Children. This one is on raising teens; first on younger kids.
- Fathers and Daughters: The template for many of her friendships and love affairs is her relationship with her father.
- Patience, kindness, listening, anticipating, understanding, risking love, putting the adolescent first and absolutely first, putting your frustration last, absolutely last ... some of the basic requirements ...
- Paul McCartney Rule: No embarrassments. Never am I embarrassed by anything my boys do. Be proud of them no matter what. What would Paul McCartney do? Nothing! Never again be embarrassed by anything your teenager has done, should have done, should not have done, is doing ...
- Learn to let go, a little.
- Five things every adolescent should know: 1. Know right from wrong; 2. Know Passion - makes the simplest thing exciting and wonderful. 3. Know creativity - "path to self-respect is through creativity." 4. Know perspective; 5. Know trust - they should know what it feels like to be trusted.
- Parents -- be inspired by what might be, not by what might have been.
- Once said, never unsaid. Some things should never be said ... 1. "I didn't raise my daughter to be ..."; 2. "You are not going out of the house in THAT?" -- First reaction must be a compliment. You must find something you like.
- Life is like a football game: child does something inexplicable, mumble some encouragement, then move on to the next play. There is always a next play. But there is no going back.
- Keep your mouth shut and they can only judge you only for what you do best.
- I am always in a hurry to do the right thing and to do good things before I run out of time in which to do them, especially with my children. Live your life as if you only have a few years to live.
- Jackie O -- "If you can't raise your children right, then what else is there?"
- When it's time throw the box off the roof. The box with the egg experiment. Let your young out of the nest.
- One of our greatest responsibilities as parents is to help our children discover themselves, discover exactly who and what they are supposed to be, and help them grow into their own skin while teaching them it is okay to become whoever they turn out to be.
- Positive thoughts are much more effective.
- Before adolescence, Build 7 bridges. Do the things that you are supposed to do when you are supposed to do them. Be together.
- Disappointment and Perspective. If they did get upset, they had to whisper. When dealing with an adolescent who has disappointed her parents, the greatest level of patience and kindness and perspective is required. She is still owed understanding, respect, support, and the very best her parents have to offer. They usually outgrow their bad habits if pressured with patience.
- Disappointment is really just a measurement: difference between what you expect and what she delivers. Change her habits, but not her nature.
- When you are wrong, be completely wrong. Own up to it.
- Let them be beautiful. Whenever possible, let her decide her clothes, her sports, her fashions, her passions, and her hair. Force nothing on her other than your love and devotion.
- Roland Warren. Children spell love T-I-M-E.
- One of our principal responsibilities is to simply listen. Listen, listen, listen. It's not always what they say; often it is what they mean.
- Like a river. As often as you can bear, let your adolescent and teenagers make their own decisions. At end of day, decisions or choices may be be so important that each one needs to be corrected. Mistake, correction, mistake, correction. Just like a river.
- We must ask ourselves which is better, correcting mistakes or allowing them to correct themselves.
- Anger and frustration with his behaviors and his poor time management.
- Shaq rule: Be nice every chance you get.
- Compliments (dangers of). (Embarrassed) because not sure how he had done the thing that I was complimenting him for. He did not know how he did, so he could not repeat it. Child does not need to be complimented excessively every time he does something amazing.
- Dreams are vital, necessary, enriching.
- When she finally divulges her big dream -- be filled with wonder. Say nothing logical or practical. Try not to be wise.
- Big Dream is just transportation. May need a brand-new dream to drive around in. Just a gets your teen from one point in his life to another.
- Important for teen to please herself, not just her parents when looking at possible dream or future.
- Siblings. Thomas Bell - ding when they are feeling left out by all the attention on younger, cuter version of themselves. When they need a little attention, too.
- Older child -- must be completely respected by his parents an must be seen by his siblings as being completely respected by his parents. Rules and regulations of the house must be adjusted for the age of the children trying to follow them.
- Privileges of the older child: If he works for you as an assistant parent, and does good work, recognize and reward him for doing so. At same time, he must know he is never allowed to use these privileges as a platform to bully or dominate the younger children. We want them to have the qualities of a great older sibling -- the looking out, the extra kindness, the prescience, the anticipation of need ... Kind is kind. Selfish is selfish. If you do not like what you see, make the change now.
- Rate your sibling. 10 the best. What would it take to improve score?
- To keep the peace. 1. One divides, other chooses. 2. 3-2-1: We pick three choices; young one picks one and one other; oldest picks from the two.
- Share plate: dining exercise where everyone puts a piece to share.
- Games. Playing on fair and balanced team. Camp tom-tom: nothing undertaken that was in any way responsible or good for any of us. No worries about anything, just hanging out, having a good time together. If it was not fund, we did not have to do it. Tap tap - tap to quit.
- Make it more fun: lots of points being scored, team personnel changing frequently, quick games.
- Punishment vs. Understanding. Purpose of punishment is to change behavior. There must also be compassion and understanding. The truth reduces punishment by 90%.
- Punish with kindness. Wait 20 minutes before deciding what the punishment should be. Change the behavior, not the person.
- When it finally affected his life more than anyone else's, he began to understand. He alone had to make the change in his behavior.
- No reason to hit, ever. Or yell either. When you get upset, whisper.
- Rule #5: Call me, no questions asked. You are forgiven in advance. (like a Get out of Jail Card). Gets child home safely.
- Coda: You cannot keep them. They fly away. College or not -- grow the tree you got.
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